What About Your Own Kids?

I have had a couple of friends make very impassioned speeches (when they found out about my plans to donate a kidney) about how I have a responsibility to my kids, and my husband first, and that donating a kidney, is, well, when you get right down to it, SELFISH.  Especially to a stranger!!!

Regarding my husband: Mark did not want to think about me suffering.  He never mentioned his own suffering or any of his own needs that might not be met during this process.  He has been 100% supportive and understanding in his typical down to earth way. 

One friend made such an impassioned little speech that I think she forgot for a minute, that it was ME she was talking to. Me who knows the risks, who is careful to a fault and is very safe and healthy in all my practices!

Yes, the testing takes away some days off when I could have been (in theory) with the kids.  And this week, I was gone for two whole days and a night, though I was along for the ride to replace a tail light today (18 year old daughter: "I am totally scared to go to Jiffy Lube without you or Mark there!") and earlier this week was able to give a rousing lecture (repeat performance) on the concept of "Why it is not nice when someone gives an inch to take a mile" to my 10 year old.  I have listened to all of them for hours this week, as I have been a very captive audience. (I may not remember much of what was said those first few days post-op!)

I am sure my son, who was home from college when the surgery took place (yes, six long weeks off at Christmas break) was not exactly thrilled to have to be in the same zip code for the whole situation, but I doubt it damaged him too much.

In regards to my own health, I realize there are always risks with surgery.  I also realize that having one kidney is slightly less optimal than having two kidneys, though it does not make much difference in the lives of most people who donate.

I will be careful of my remaining kidney, just as I was careful of both of them for the past 44 years.  As a crime analyst who read literally thousands of assault reports over the years, I would give you the rough estimate of kidney injuries being about ten times rarer than brain bleeds.  Your body does a good job of keeping those kidneys protected, but your old melon is out in the open most of the time.  I promise to wear my seat belt always, just like I always have!

I think the important thing to consider is that we all have the right to take some risks with our bodies, and we do almost every day.  Some of us have taken other risks like going to third world countries, eating out on a regular basis, and running or walking in the dark!

The chances of my kids needing a kidney from me in the future are not great.  There is no kidney disease in our family. 

Many women leave their families to their own devices so that mom can participate in mission trips, girl trips, business trips, retreats and family reunions.  This can be a good thing for all involved.  Mom being away may not be top choice for kids, but it is part of growing up and part of the growing process.  My mom used to go on vacation with her cousins when I was growing up and I was never happy about it, but I think it set a good example for me, of my mom taking care of herself, of having other interests, and of nurturing relationships with people that may not live very close by.

The bottom line was for me that once I went through all the testing for Arnold, who certainly deserved a new lease on life, I was not a good match, and I hung around until they found a good match, who turned out to be a stranger.  My kids, all three of them, have asked me why I kept trying and I told them that the people that I see at the hospital, who are waiting for a kidney, all seem to be pretty deserving too, like the college kid from Denver University, and the lady farmer from Fruita, and everyone else who joked around with me while we waited to get our blood work done. Some of the joking was along the lines of "Please just give me your kidney, right now!"  The right thing for me to do, was to stick with it. 

My recipient, Albert, told me that he asked all the people, kind of on the sly, at the hospital, at the lab, and at the transplant team, if they could describe me in one word.  He said that all of them said "She is very determined" or "She is very stubborn".  Bravo!  What a good answer for him to hear!  

I think that my kids would say the same about me too. 

Home Again Home Again Tacky Tacky

I will admit that I was not quite ready to leave the hospital on Wednesday.  I was feeling pretty good until I took a Percocet at about 1 PM and then I felt like I was going to throw up and or pass out. (Also, can I mention here how much one's throat hurts after being intubated and how impossible it is to take a Horse Pill, with no coating or anything? HELLO PEOPLE!)

I could barely function at all after I took that Percocet.  Around 2:30 they sent in the social worker to rough me up along the lines that if I wanted to sleep, I needed to sleep at home, and if I wanted to go home I needed to get moving.  (I had been walking a lot prior to that and had used the toilet several times and eaten and so on.) I explained to her that it was the Percocet that was making me feel ill and that I wanted a prescription for Vicodin to go home on, because I have had Vicodin and it is okay. I needed a little time for the Percocet to go away.  She said I could have another Percocet now if I wanted, (note, as long as I can remember to tell them, I will NEVER TAKE PERCOCET AGAIN) or I could certainly Wait To Hear Back From the Doctor.  I told her I was not going to risk throwing up in the car, after abdominal surgery (all this said in my high and squeaky post-op intubated voice.)  She left.

So then they do all these tests on me to see how my BP is laying down, sitting down, standing up and I just repeated, like a broken record, that I was nauseous from the Percocet and I did not want to go home with a Percocet prescription and that I would go home when I felt like I was not going to barf. My blood pressure was just fine. 

Finally at four, I went home.  The surgeon called in a prescription for Vicodin to our pharmacy. I had earlier said I was happy to go home on POT (Plain Old Tylenol) if they could not figure out the Vicodin request. 

I will not even go into the abject refusal to find a wheel chair by our nurse. Okay, I will.  I am sure she was really busy, and it probably is not her job. You cannot walk out, you have to use a wheel chair but it is not the RN's job or the Aid (who is kind of like the CEO over there) to get the wheel chair.  "You need to find a volunteer!"  Okay, so are we dumping someone out of a wheel chair? Is that our volunteer? I did not get the "find the volunteer" strategy.  Eventually, Mark did find one, and she was really nice and explained that no one likes to wheel people out, but they have to be wheeled out.  The reason the volunteers don't like it is because they don't like to stand there and get cold while people get their car.  Doesn't it all pay the same?  Also, I bet the patient loves freezing their butt off too.  Maybe waiting around in the foyer is better?

Regardless, I felt instantly better once I was in the car.  This reminds me of a daschund I used to house sit as a teenager that would act sick and not eat but be all happy happy joy joy once she was in the car.  I felt just like Noodles once I was in that car!

I hustled right up the stairs when I got home (Mark was shocked) and laid down in the bedroom.  Forrest, my 19 year old, hung out with me while he was stringing his lacrosse head. Soon it was like a parade of all three kids, Mark, and the animals.

I decided to sleep downstairs in our study because we have one of those fabulous couches with a Recliner on Each End.  This is handy because you can sleep in the recliner position or on the couch position.  I was still having a hard time with the CO2 moving up in my shoulders and my lungs feeling weird, so the recliner came in handy.

 My ten year old was very determined to sleep with me in the study. I explained to her that I would be up and down all night long and that she needed her rest for school.  Finally, I gave in and told her she could sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor.  We watched a movie, "Peter Pan" (which is a very politically incorrect movie by today's standards, no?) and "slept" with her on the floor, me on the couch, with the cat right on top of me.  Yes, it does hurt like hell when the cat crosses the incision.  I tried to protect myself but she is relentless wanting to be right on me. Locking her out is not an option.  You understand this if you have had a Siamese kitty.

I probably went to the bathroom about once an hour, at least, because all the fluids I was pumped up with for surgery were working their way out.  Every time I had to tell the cat how sorry I was, and dump her off my big bloated CO2 belly, hobble to the bathroom, come back, get situated again, and start to sleep. 

A word about the dog. I have a chow mix.  She is a Zuni-Rez special, straight from the Zuni Rez. (That is a whole other story.)  She is the best dog ever.  However, she reserves the right to be a little bit aloof if I leave her overnight.  So that first night she would come in and snort around but was still mad at me for leaving her.  She slept in her usual spot which is on the landing, until everyone comes home, and then she sleeps in the upstairs hallway.

I called the transplant team on Thursday because I was worried about urinating so much and also that it seemed a little cloudy.  This was a danger sign to call about immediately.  They still have not called me back yet. (Saturday) I know I should have kept calling but it seems to have straightened out.

The next night we had the same arrangement: Ren on the floor, me on the couch, but dog on the floor, (we had several submit and forgive moments the day before involving belly rubs, chicken jerky treats and love pats) and cat on my stomach.  Now I was apologizing to kitty, stepping over either the dog, or Ren, and hitting the bathroom about every hour again.  Sigh.  At 3 AM the dog needed to go out.  I let her out and sat awake waiting for her and she surprised me by asking to be let in the front door, and presented me with a big dirt encrusted joint bone she had dug up somewhere.  That was a special moment and someone still needs to vacuum up that mess.

During the day I tried to do a lap around the downstairs, or go up and down the stairs every time I went to the bathroom.  I am still drinking a lot of water, Gatorade, water etc.  Yesterday I took a nap in my own bed, for the first time, laying flat and on my side, and it was just fine.  I have had this strange migraine-y headache since surgery, and when I woke up from that nap, it was finally gone. I still have that migraine hung over feeling.  I have not had much pain. I am taking my Vicodin when I go to bed at night.  The worst pain is from all the stuff they have to do to get to the kidney, like the anesthesia and the intubation. 

Mark and I had to sign some paperwork yesterday and I felt fine to go. I took my first real shower, gross, I know, and when I finally took off all my clothes, I still had leads stuck to me from the surgery.  I cannot tell you how many times I have scratched those places and not gotten that there was a foreign object stuck to me.

I am getting better every day.  Two people that have long been in the Laura Show have joked that now I have a place to put my cell phone, in regards to the kidney void.  It still hurts to laugh. My family is so funny, they all make me laugh.

My recipient Albert also makes me laugh.  We talked on the phone last night, he is getting out today to go to a little rental place near the hospital.  That is a great thing!

Big thanks to Mark, the kiddos, the pets and yes, even the nurses, and doctors, even though I say tacky things about them, for helping me through all this!  Like I have said before, it takes a village to donate a kidney! 

Surgery Day...

My husband Mark and I had to be at the hospital at 5 AM with my little red ticket.  I had to get up really early because you have to take a shower with some special soap before surgery!

When we checked in the lady remembered me and said "I am sure you will do great."  Those kinds of comments make a big difference.

We went up to the pre-op area, and the nurse asked Mark to wait in the lobby and then she would go get him later.  I told Mark that I wondered if he would have some company from Albert, the recipient.  Mark did not think so, but Albert and his crew showed up shortly after I went into the pre-op room.  Mark said they talked for a long time, and Albert left me a beautiful card that made me cry.  Mark had not heard the term "Muchisimas gracias" before that day!

While I was in pre-op the nurses did all the same stuff they always do and I kept on having to go to the bathroom while they were trying to do their job.  Even though I had done the bowel prep the afternoon before, it seemed to reactivate once I was at the hospital.  They also fill the donor up with fluids so that the kidneys are busy going into surgery and the doctors really do not want you to go to the bathroom too much before the surgery,  but there is not much they can do about it if you have to go.  The nurse and I joked that the I.V. bag was my baby because of the way I carried it!

Mark came back to pre-op with me as Albert was walking back for his pre-op.  I was glad to see Albert go by even though I was quickly developing the headache of my life.  I told Mark that I thought I was getting a migraine or something so he kept trying to shade and cover my eyes because a big light was shining right in them. We could not figure out which light switch was okay to turn off. 

Almost the whole time that Mark was in there the surgeon was sitting at the nurses station yelling at the people in the lab or somewhere in the hospital.  I know at one point he called one person at home and woke them up.  I was sort of like that dog in the old Farside cartoon that can only understand her name and a few other words...so all I could hear was ALTOBELLI blah blah blah CROSS MATCH TEST blah blah blah.  I kept telling Mark to be quiet so I could hear or better yet, go out there and find out what was going on!  It was a little unnerving.

When the surgeon came into pre-op, I asked him if everything was okay and he said it was and then I told him about my migraine and he said "As long as you don't vomit!"  Then he told me that when they went thru the CAT scan of my kidneys, they (the radiologist and surgeon) noticed that I had one kidney that was 2 centimeters bigger than the other one, so they were taking the smaller one and leaving the bigger one.  That meant that instead of taking the left kidney like they normally do, because it has longer veins and is easier to get to, they would take the right one.  Mark and I both asked if that was the best thing to do and the surgeon assured us that they have to leave the "better" kidney if there is one, to the donor.  He also mentioned that I have long veins on either side, so taking the right one is still going to work. 

Mark kissed me good-bye (lots of tears) and it was off to the operating room.  I actually remember being wheeled in there and the mask and going under, even though they gave me Versed in pre-op.  I also woke up for a second during the surgery (I have experienced anesthesia awareness before) and all I saw was the back of the anesthesioligist and heard the nurse say "Blinking! Blinking!"

The next thing I remember is being in post-op/recovery and feeling like I could not breathe.  I told the nurse that I could not breathe or see right and that I could hear a baby.  She finally admitted that there was a baby in there that someone brought for a visit! I was only in recovery about one hour and was wheeled to my room.  The person that wheeled me to my room had a Scottish accent and I asked him if he had a good Robert Burns day and he said "Today is Robert Burns Day!"  So I was a little confused.  Later I think I asked him if he had done his shot of haggis!

I had the worst bed.  It made so much noise every time you moved it up or down.  It was like nails on the chalkboard screeching--terrible.

The best thing that happened that afternoon was that the other surgeon for Albert came by and said that the kidney worked so well it was a record for all the urine it was putting out in the recovery room!  He said it was not sleepy at all and went right to work.  I was so happy to hear that.

Staying in the hospital is hard on everyone, not just the patient. It is almost impossible to sleep in there with all the alarms going off all night long on the I.V. pole, and the nurses are in and out constantly when you are trying to sleep and when you really need them to show up, it seems to take forever.

They always run right in when you have a visitor too, I noticed! ; )

About 1 AM I started thinking that my Foley catheter was vapor locked and called for the nurse, which involved lots of fiddling around, after he finally came (really nice nurse but..) then he says he will do an ultrasound on my bladder to see if it is full, and he cannot find my bladder with the ultrasound thing, so I asked him what would happend if I just stood up?  That solved the problem!  The catheter is one of the worst aspects of the surgery.  But once its gone, it's gone.

The other painful part is the gas the surgeons put in to extend the belly for the surgery: that gas is still in there and very painful after the surgery.  It just moves up, in my case, to the shoulders and back and it hurts like hell!

As far as the surgical site goes, it does not look too bad.  There are three little laporoscopic holes and then the incision that they use to actually take out the kidney, which is above the pubic bone, not around back where the kidney comes from.  That is the only true incision and it is probably 3 to 4 inches long. It looks ugly right now but I don't think it will end up causing much of a scar in the long run.  My belly is really swollen, so it is okay to call me Alottabelli this week, because I know it will go down.

I had so many well wishers in various ways. I thank you all for all of your kindness! It really does make a difference!

I spent one night and part of the next day in the hospital, but it was well worth it. 

Donor Met, Tests Done, Tomorrow is the Big Day!

On Mon, Jan 24, 2011 at 2:56 PM, daniel <danny@comcast.net> wrote:
Laura,
Did you meet with the recipient today? How was it?
I am writing an article about you in the upcoming issue (hopefully out by Thursday). I would like to write a little about your recipient, what it was like to meet him, your first impressions, etc. I will, of course, just use his first name.
Let me know what you think.
I am on pins and needles thinking about tomorrow, so I know you and your family are as well!
Take Care,
Danny
On Mon, Jan 24, 2011 at 5:56 PM, Laura Altobelli> wrote:

Danny,
I am going to try to update the blog  but I drank my mag citrate already and everyone keeps calling me and my sweet family is all over me and so on so I may just email you and post it as my blog.

I did meet my donor !!! He showed up for the cross match the same time that I did and he immediately sat down to get water and told my husband, Mark, that he was getting a kidney from an anonymous donor and Mark said "I bet it is my wife" and Lab Guy (who knew we were both there for the cross match) said to the guy "Are you from Grand Junction? I think your donor is Laura Altobelli!" about two seconds later. (I was in the bathroom, of course)

The whole lab was packed and every jaw dropped, especially mine!  LOL

The guy is Native American, and has a pony tail which just seemed to make sense! He gave me his hat, which is a Medical Marijuana hat--Mark asked him if I had said anything to him about his hat, since I had been the Medical Marijuana lady at Unnamed PD, (they were chatting while I was getting my tests) and the guy gave it to me when he saw me in the lobby--very cute and sweet of him, but sort of funny--I think about what the cops would think of that whole thing!  He said his dialysis buddy gave it to him at dialysis.

So then he goes upstairs and that is when TCL told him that we were not supposed to meet and he could not have my contact information. I happened to get the ESP word at John Holly's while eating my soup that I had better call TCL (believe me, the ESP word is real) and TCL told me how it was ILLEGAL to have met like that--she said she told him that I had requested no contact.  I think I only told them 14 times that I was willing to do whatever the donor wanted--meet, not meet, etc etc!!!!!!  Then I thought we would meet upstairs, and we did not because I am sure TCL made sure it did not happen! 

 I had her patch me thru to TCL Donor and then TCL Recipient and told them to give him my phone number and he had also asked them to call me with his number. I am sure everyone used the word "hard boiled" to describe my tone.  At best!

He, Donor Guy, said that he knew that they were wrong and he was not worried.  He said they told him a lot about me anyways!

We had fun on the phone on the later on after I came home and he was doing dialysis (for the last time, let's hope) I called him because I know people like to talk on the phone while they are doing their dialysis.  We talked for an hour.  He is 56 years old, served in Vietnam, worked for an oil company--lives in Grand Junction.  He said that this day was more exciting than when his son was born.  I dont know anything about a wife so I think he is single now.  He told Mark he cannot wait to be able to go hunting this fall, if the transplant works.  His name is Albert.  He said that I sounded just like one of his sisters.  He said that everyone has been calling in on the "Mexican" radio station in Grand Junction and dedicating songs to us today!  We did not know that!  : )

Thanks for praying, brother Daniel

Bastante

I am amazed by all the people that are amazed.  I am embarrassed.

It is amazing to be part of this process.  I believe that my whole life has prepared me to do this.  Let's hope.  And in recent days, lots of very supportive people have come forward. 

My favorite thing, so far, was my dad called today and left a message on my cell phone.  (I had not told him either, until I told my mom. I would never ask my dad to keep a secret from my mom nor he would he, in part because he cannot keep a secret from anyone at any time.  We all have a story about that--each time he apologizes by saying "I am not sure how THAT slipped out!" in his Texas drawl. Ahem.  He also does that wheezing laugh which clearly cancels out any "apology".)

My dad sounds a lot like John Wayne.  He is a big Texan (transplanted to "Colorada") His phone messages are very deliberately spoken.  You can tell when someone is listening to a message from my dad...the phone is held far from the ear, the smile is wide.

 He said (John Wayne voice)"Laura Lee. This your dear old dad calling. Well, I am very glad you are a donating a kidney.  I am too selfish to do something like that. (Wild Whispering from my Mother in the Background)  Okay, just wanted to say it helps out more than just one person.  That's it."

Thanks Mom and Dad and everybody else too.  One more day of last minute tests.....drinking lots of water....bowel prep..I think I can find that Dave Barry article about it....packing bag....I am getting ready. 

Mama Bear Told and Burning Questions Answered

As I have mentioned previously, I had not told my mother about any of my plans for Living Kidney Donation, even months ago, when I was testing to donate to Arnold.  There are various reasons why, and one of the main ones is that my mother can be very negative and is the type that just shuts anyone down that tries to disagree with her, even if it is a respectful disagreement. 

To be clear, I live in the same city as my mother, we spend lots of time together, and all of us have made a very conscious decision to stay in close proximity and have a close relationship. (For instance, I would love to get outta Denver, baby, move to Warmer Climes, but I would not, unless it was okay with my parents, as in, they came with us.  This is the way that I was raised. We need our parents and grandparents and vice versa.)

  Over the years, we have had very few "blow ups".  However, I was concerned because she worries about my health, and knows too much, as an RN, to be 100% on board with my living kidney donation.

Well, alert the media, I was totally wrong (and I am totally admitting it.)  I called her this morning and told her, apologizing that I had not told her sooner, to be sure, but she was quite interested, very positive and completely understanding.  Whew.  She said "I would never try to talk someone out of donating a kidney".

Even as old as I am, I certainly act like an immature idiot sometimes.  My mom even recalled my interest in kidney donation as a child.  She said, "I remember that when you were a kid, you picked up right up on it that a person only needs one kidney and wanted to know why someone had to wait for someone else to die to get a kidney."  I felt so validated!

I cannot help but think all of you praying did not have something to do with telling my mother and how well it went today.  I think it is a small miracle.

This brings us to Burning Question Numero Uno, which has been asked by a few of you on email and Facebook and even in person.

Q. Do you think talking about God so much in your blog will turn people off?

A. Yes, no, maybe, but I cannot help it if it does.  If people are uncomfortable with my belief in God and prayer and so on, that is okay.  I certainly do not want to offend anyone.  I am trying not to shove anything down anyone's throat.   My job is not to convert anyone to another way of belief. But my relationship with God is unique to me, and is part of this process.  It comes up in the telling of this story. This is how I function.  I am not speaking for anyone else, but if I have ever lead a person to think about Christ or their relationship with God, it is because it just came up in conversation. I have never preached a sermon. I want people to know some of the big things that lead me to a kidney donor, such as knowing people on dialysis and my RN mom and other moms and friends and my work place and lots of other small and large things that came into my universe.  This is how God speaks to me.  I have not always listened.  I have been known to turn my back and even plug my ears.  You can do that too if you want to.

Burning Question Numero Dos is not going to be of interest to anyone that works outside of Unnamed Police Department, yet, almost everyone that has read this blog from Unnamed Police Department and other Police Departments has asked me this in subtle and not so subtle ways.

Q. Do you think that you were not chosen to donate to Arnold because the Unnamed Police Department wanted the donor to be another cop and not a civilian so that the Police Department could get all the "good" press?

A. Though I love a Good Conspiracy Theory as much the next person, this is not the case.  For those of you who work outside of law enforcement, who are still reading, a cop is an officer of the law, and is sworn, in the most simple terms, to serve and protect.  A civilian participates in the activities of law enforcement that do not involve risking one's life.  Civilians are an important part of policing because they do functions that little kids that grew up wanting to be a cop never wanted to do, like crime analysis.  They also cost less to the city because they are not compensated as much, since they do not risk their life. 

 I do not believe that anyone that works outside of law enforcement that heard about a living kidney donation between two employees of a police department would care that one of the people was a sworn officer and the other person was a civilian. The police department, Arnold, and the Whole Transplant Team were not motivated to find a donor for Arnold that would make more interesting news because they are both cops!  As it turned out, the donor is a police officer, and hopefully the good press will help people who are looking for a kidney donor.  I do not believe that the news story would necessarily make anyone change their opinions of the Unnamed Police Department to know that two people there participated in a kidney donation. 

The importance of the news story is to create awareness and understanding of living kidney donation. 

I am hopeful that as a society we are moving to a higher level of understanding about living organ donation which includes realizing it is do-able and not wildly unusual. The more people hear about it, the more likely they are to be supportive of people going through the process, on either side, and to even consider donation themselves.

One of the difficult things about this process is that people have a lot of (uneducated) opinions about living organ donation. When I hear one of those opinions, I try to be grateful that I have this opportunity to make a difference by explaining the process to another person.  Sometimes though I just want to roll my eyes (or worse).  The negative comments are hard, but sometimes the positive ones are too.  Viva awareness and education!!!

Ultrasound GOOD

I called the Transplant Coordinator Lady first thing this morning to see how the ultrasound was--I said "Hey, what is going on?" and she said "Oh yes, your recipient does want to meet you!"  (That is what she thought I was calling about, not the ultrasound!)

I can always hear a lot of emotion in her voice when she talks about him, which is interesting.  This is another interesting factoid: I have never met this Transplant Coordinator Lady in person.  The original TCL resigned.  I had met her .

So that is how I found out everything is okay and the surgery is going to happen on Tuesday for sure. 

I am excited to meet my recipient, even though I would understand if he did not want to meet me.  I think that my husband, Mark, and I will meet him on Monday when I go for the last cross match test and to meet with the surgeon and other folks on the transplant team.

Stay tuned. 

Ultrasound! Check!

So I hustled over there for my 3:15 check in for my 3:30 ultrasound to see if the One Remaining Evil Ovary was okay for surgery.

Let's just say at around 4:00 PM, I saw a work buddy stroll by (there for a heart scan) while I was still waiting.  During the time in the waiting room I was with a family, Mom, two boys and Grandma who were waiting for Grandma's x-ray.  Lots of talk of Grandma being cranky as she had run out of morphine patches and did not want to take her liquid morphine.  Mom and Grandma both had that Been Smokin' Our Whole Life voice.

If you have not started smoking, do not start.  If you do smoke, please stop immediately.  Enough said!

My little ultrasound tech person was really cute, kind of like an Ultrasound Barbie. She asked me if I knew that I was getting a Trans Vaginal Orchestra, I mean ultrasound today. I was tempted to tell her I did know that but I had temporarily forgotten when I ordered a bean burrito deluxe for lunch!

  Because of her overall cuteness, I did not try to bully the results out of her.  However, she did seem to me to be reacting as if there was nothing there. She kept on saying "Hmmmm....hmmmmm....hmmmmmmm...." but not in a particularly concerned fashion.  I finally told her that my Evil Left Ovary was missing.

She commented that she did not know you could donate a kidney to someone you did not know.  "You can donate a kidney to just anybody?" 

Not really.  You can only donate to someone who will really be able to put it to good use.

My plan was to have the Transplant Coordinator Lady be the bad guy and bully Ultrasound Barbie for the results, but when I called TCL as I was leaving, I was told she went home already today.

A strange thing happened when I was walking out to my car.  As is normal at most hospitals, you can only park approximately one mile from the entrance..and I could hear, despite my hood up (it was snowink, dahlink) someone not quite running, but coming up fast behind me as I walked to the parking structure. I moved over so he could pass but it turned out he was just trying to see who it was behind the hood. Once he saw my face, he just turned and went the other way. (I did smile at him and he said "Oh, hi")

I hope he finds her!  And I feel sorry for someone who has this same ugly coat!

We Have a Date!

Surgery has been scheduled for next Tuesday, January 25th!

I have a lot to do before then, like go for the ultrasound tomorrow and then they do some blood work on Monday and I also meet with the surgeon on Monday.  Then Tuesday, I check in at 5 AM and surgery is at 7:30 AM.

My boss at work understands that I will not be at work at all next week.  It is kind of surreal to think that these are my last few days at work, before I start my new job on February 1.  

 I will be motivated to get better faster (even without a new job, I have other things I have to get out of bed for) and if I am not feeling 100%, and have to take off a few more days, it will just have to be okay.  (I did tell them at my new job (during the interview) that I might have to surgery sometime in February. Awkward! Really awkward. Shudder!)

The Transplant Coordinator Lady was definitely a little teary when she was telling me what a great guy the recipient is!  (I am a huge cry baby and I was kind of holding back crying right then but I did cry on the way home.)

I am glad to hear that he is a great guy, even though I "knew" it already.  I did not start out as an altruistic donor, but I have not struggled (thank you, God) with any worry that the recipient will be a dirty rotten scoundrel.  I have talked to a couple of people, including people online and in person, who have huge issues with the worthiness of the possible recipient.

"What if he is a drinker?"  "What if it turns out he is a sex offender?"  (I did not make that up. I wanted to say "What is he is a veritable Mr. Brooks?" Kidding!)

 One person said, "What are you going to do if you find out he is serving a life sentence in the Pen?" I did not even answer that one!  That same person mentioned how he worries about donating blood because "it can often go to save people who are involved in shootings."  (As a crime analyst, I can tell you that there are not a Whole Lot of People Involved in Shootings in the Grand Scheme of Things.  I will admit that our hospitals are very good at saving people's lives who are, though!  Second chances abound!)

I stopped to think about all of this for a few seconds, each time this subject comes up, and I think that I have to trust the Transplant Coordinator Ladies, the recipients themselves, (as in the possible recipient from Cross Match Two that refused the kidney) and God.  It is a little silly to waste too much time worrying.  An Excellent Practice is to make a note of that time spent fretting and then pray for that same amount of time.  I am not saying I am very good at doing that, but when I have chosen the Why Worry When You Can Pray Way, the results are noticeably better.

Another well meaning remark (from someone who should know better): "If you only donate to kids, then you know they are good!"

No, not really.  I am pretty clear I do not know anything.   At the same time, I know and have total faith that my recipient is perfect.

I am hoping that my Right Ovary is Right and that there are no problems with it, and then it is one day at a time until Monday, and then Tuesday, and then I will get better, and my recipient will get better and life marches on.

My ten year old, right now, is singing this to me, which is somewhat irritating, quite honestly, because it way past the little sprite's bed time, but when I stopped to listen to at least one of the out of 213 times she sang this song while I was "writing", the words made me smile :

"I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.
But since I came here,
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake


la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la..."

(I had to look up the words up on the Internet.  Lovely!  Yael Naim is the artist!  Go Yael!)

Now the sprite is blowing bubbles in my study....la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la......

Almost There?

I was so excited over the weekend thinking that I could find out on Monday when my surgery was and it would be that week between jobs and how great that would be if it worked out (!) that I actually emailed the Transplant Coordinator Lady during the weekend to make sure she was Crystal Clear that I am Ready To Go!  She called this morning to tell me she had the email and we were all on the same page!

When I had my appointment all those months ago with the psychiatrist, she asked me what I thought about going to work after the surgery and I clearly recall telling her that it would be great if I went off to a new job.  (I was not necessarily looking for a new job then, but I was already thinking it was time to move on and it would be nice to move on after the surgery.)  It is a small miracle, IMHO, that this may really work out. 

Transplant Coordinator Lady (cat-herder extraordinaire) called me this morning, fairly early, to say that they presented our case (I do not know who the recipient is but it is OUR case) to the transplant team and they said it was a go.  Hurray!  But wait!!

One small glitch before they schedule surgery is that they have to have an ultrasound of my right ovary.  I only have one ovary due to so many cysts in the past (my whole youth was defined by the month with the painful cyst, on the left side, and the next month without the cyst rupturing--so thrilled when the Evil Ovary finally went away with surgery) and they want to make sure the right one is okay before the kidney donation surgery, because my remaining ovary did show some cysts during my CAT scan of my kidneys. (Et tu, Right Ovary? Let's hope not!)

I am confident that I am okay to have the surgery, and maybe even cyst free.  I have not had one iota of pain from that ovary, so whatever they saw on the CAT scan hopefully was a small cyst that came and went. (At the time of the CAT scan, they just told me it was all okay.)  I am NOT looking forward to the vaginal ultrasound, but it is not a big deal.

Hopefully I will have some good news as in find out everything is okay AND when the surgery is going to happen by Thursday!

I am wishing I knew already and that my next check in to that hospital was for surgery, instead of an ultrasound, but I guess not.  The Transplant Lady and I had a little laugh about how the check in lady at the hospital front desk is not the best at P.R. (needs to smile, recognize people that have been 40 times etc) I guess I am not the only one that has wondered about her .....

I have not read this book, but it's image came up when I googled Evil Ovary Images.  See? 

It Takes a Village To Donate a Kidney

      

To see the world in a grain of sand, and to see heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hands, and eternity in an hour.   -William Blake

I have not donated a kidney yet, but just going through this process has required the cooperation and patience of at least a dozen people:

My three kids who have been very patient with me about donating the kidney.  My son was even willing to forgo our Drive Across America (to drive him to college) this summer if it turned out that the best timing to donate conflicted with the dates of our trip. My ten year old was with me for Cross Match Test (number two) on what was supposed to be a Mother Daughter Day....my other daughter has endured many bus rides because I was not going to be in there in time to pick her up.

My husband has alternated between being worried, scared and amused by all of the things that have happened these several months of testing, and he stays supportive, patient and loving through every minute of it.  It is hard to be the one watching someone else go through something and not be able to fix it.  Especially if you are a man! 

My bosses at work who have allowed me to go for testing and blood testing again and again....

The health and wellness coordinator at work, who not only donated a kidney himself, but encouraged everyone that could possibly donate to try to donate a kidney, first for our co-worker and then to remain "on the list" as an altruistic donor.

My friends, who have been excellent listeners along the way...especially a good neighbor whose husband has received a kidney and a Facebook friend who is waiting for a kidney.

No one donates a kidney on their own.  Lots of people make lots of little and not so little sacrifices in order for all of this to work.  People worry and wonder.  They learn.  They think.

The people at the transplant team, who must always listen and encourage and keep trying to coordinate all of these tests, and all of these people, are professionals working in a field that is fairly new to most people, unusual, and changing....

Today on my iPod the song "Hands and Feet" by Audio Adrenaline came on.  The words go something like this "I wanna be your hands, I wanna be your feet, I will go where you send me, go where you send me..."  that song reminds me that the biggest help of all has been the life that allows me to do this due to the spirituality provided by the lordship of Christ, (I am very clear that people from all faiths, paths and views are participants in living organ donation but I happen to be a Christian) and the endless stream of events that helped me make this decision. 

(I tried making up words that had to do with "give up one kidney" but it just will not come together for me. Okay, actually it does, but I will not admit to singing "I will be your hands, I will be your feet, I will donate a kidney, donate a kidney..." ) 

 Everyone trying to donate a kidney needs a whole list of team players in their day to day life, who picked up the slack, encouraged, forgave and loved them through this process.  Thanks, everybody.

 

Cross Match Number 3 Results are Negative, which is GOOD

I went for the third cross match test on Thursday, and the Transplant Coordinator Lady called me TODAY about the cross match.

Just to back up, yesterday I received a job offer that I accepted, and so today at work, I was thinking about what would happen when I leave in two weeks and how I hope my new job will be very kind about letting me take a week off to donate a kidney.  Now I know they would, but definitely not 100% clear about how the Whole Getting Paid for that Week Off would work since I would have a new job and no sick or vacation time to take.

Earlier today, before the Transplant Coordinator Lady called, I went to lunch with three friends from work, and one of them told me to be sure to call sick every day until I had used my sick time, because you just lose it if you dont use it.  I told him that I really did not have a way to do that, (without lying, right) and besides, I would not think that is a very classy thing to do...regardless when he said it a little light off went off in my head, like when your Sub-Conscious or an Angel of the Lord or whoever is saying "Hey Dummy, pay attention". 

Regardless, when the Transplant Lady called to tell me the good news that our cross match was negative, meaning no fighting in the petrie dish, I told her about the new job situation and that I was not sure when I could take time off.  Brilliant Lady that she is, (no sarcasm) she said: "What would happen if you did it before you started your new job?"

Eureka.

I think that would be so cool if I could work next week, donate my kidney the next week and start my new job the next week.  I know it sounds crazy, even to people who know me in real life, but when you think about it, that would be the BEST!

She presents "our case" to the transplant board on Monday.  Stay tuned.

Man plans. God laughs.  But maybe this time, God made the plan? 

I told my captain at work about this whole situation. Imagine sitting in your office, trying to go home and your employee shows up to tell you that she is leaving in two weeks, but would like to just actually work one more week and donate a kidney the next week?  How does that sound, boss?  He was very nice about it.  I think "they" are going to go for it.

When you get right down to it, it takes a village to donate one kidney.  Maybe that will be my next post.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.  I mean it!!

Water in dream language represents emotions and feelings.....this is what my life feels like to me right now.....

Cross Match Numeros Dos y Tres

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny compared to what lies within us." ~Walt Emerson

My first cross match test was with Arnold and there was no "fighting in the petrie dish" but there was another person that was a better match so I did not donate to my friend who was the one I had in mind when I originally tested to be a living kidney donor .

My second cross match test was with 3 people waiting for a kidney for a long time.  In two cases, lots of fighting in the petrie dish.  There was one that was "negative" meaning no fighting in the petrie dish.

Well, well, well, as it turns out, the intended recipient could not receive a donation due to some physical and emotional stuff going on at this time.

My son said "He just did not want your dirty kidney." LOVE MY BOY!  We all have that same "wrong"sense of humor in this crowd. I prayed for the intended and it was time to move on.

Transplant Coordinator Lady called and asked me if I wanted to test again?  Absolutely!  She asked if I wanted to make sure the recipient had any special qualities. I told her that I wanted it to be truly altruistic, but at the same time, would like it if the recipient was really ready to go and it would feel better to me to donate to someone under 60.  She understood and agreed.

Today was test number three...who knows what will happen.  My favorite phlebotomist was back and he was very encouraging.  He said he knew I would keep on trying.  (He also referred to me as his Super Star Girl Friend, but that is just all in good fun.)

Keep your fingers crossed, and whatever else. 

Weird Unpleasantries

There have been a few weird things that have happened in regards to Other People.

One of the toughest things is not being able to tell my parents about the testing. I don't think my dad would have much to say about it but my mother would be, I am very sure, unhappy and not supportive.  What mother wants her child to take any risk?  My mother is especially cautious. And opinionated.  And Super Negative.  Ahem.  I have a fairly strong showing of the Mean Old Mama Bear Gene myself, so I do understand.  I just keep hoping that it will all work out with out causing her too much worry and me too much grief.

The other weird thing has been that the new transplant coordinator and I seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot.  I realize that this happens, and sometimes when it does, the best relationships ever can still develop, but no matter, it is no fun to have lots of misunderstandings and rough communications.

It started with her calling me after Arnold had received his kidney to verify that I was not wanting to continue.  I told her I did indeed want to continue as an altruistic donor.  I can understand this happening one time, but it has happened more than once.  After the third time, I sent a fairly hot email.  My friend that works there has assured me that they all know I want to continue. Great. 

Then there was this sudden urgent need for me to get some paperwork from a doctor that I saw 9 years ago.  This is after I had been approved to donate.  I did call the doctor, they had to go to storage to find the paperwork and then there was no response from the transplant team when I sent it.  "Oh, you should have never gone to all the trouble.  Just do the blood test again!"

Seriously? 

So I show up to do the blood test and you can guess what happened.  Not in the system, and so on.  She has not answered her phone once when I call.  That day I told the director of the lab that I hoped someone did an interview with people who quit trying to be donors because there might be some causes discovered in that process that the hospital could prevent, like NOT HAVING A CULTURE OF BAD SERVICE. 

Regardless, I am hanging in there.  There have been a few other times of "rough communication", but my attitude has improved.

The other weirdo unpleasantry has to do with my job.  When the call came out for the kidney, it came out in a newsletter about health and wellness.  There was an excellent description of the process.  There was also some mention that if 50 people tested (I think it was 50) then if everyone that could donate could it would help all of these people besides just Arnold.

I don't know for sure how many people, if any others, went through all the testing.  All I know is I made it all the way through and I am going to keep on going.

So one day someone at the police department, who I consider a friend, asked me to lunch.  He/She(I do not want to identify who He or She is, but He or She is not Really a He/She) told me not to meet him or her in the normal place but across the street.  I went to lunch with Him/Her and realized at some point something was up.  As in, I started feeling "hinkey" like the bad guys do when the cops are after them.

I did not let Him/Her buy my lunch (you know something was really up if I did that) and we went back to the department and He/She said that He/She had to go to another meeting and would drop me off north of the building.  As in, He/She cannot be seen with me!  RIDICULOUS, right?

  At that point He/She, parked on 14th, said that He/She was in a meeting, in recent days, with a group of people above sergeant in rank, all nameless, of course, who made it clear that they thought it was terribly sad that I had tried to donate, and also would have been terribly sad if I had donated and would hope that I would not continue on the altruistic path. He/She laughed in that "Oh, it is sad but kind of pathetic too" way when I asked why this was that these High Rankers would be thumbs down on altruistic donation?   

 I don't know for sure if the department has really backed off or if they have, it has anything to do with me or more to do with liability. 

Regardless, I told Him/Her that I would hope someone would contact me directly, and that I would not participate in this cloak and dagger malarkey, and I got out of the car and went back to work. 

No word from He/She. 

New Coordinator? Now what?

There have been a lot of confusing and troubling things that have gone on after the transplant coordinator left the team.  The transition to the new coordinator has not been easy.  She is a good nurse and an intelligent and thoughtful person, but I think she was kind of thrown, unexpectedly, into this job and there has been some confusion.

However, the end result of the Arnold Story is that Arnold did receive a kidney, from another co-worker, who tested and was a better match. 

This is a great and exciting thing.  (Though it was a little sad and scary that Arnold had to wait and have the surgery to put in the dialysis port and so on, which he was hoping he did not have to do, but it all worked out in the end.)

I am very glad that part of the story has a happy ending!  Arnold and his donor, are both doing just fine.  Amen!!!

Now Go Talk to Everybody

After the visit with the psychiatrist (I did not need any "buffing up") I met with the dietician, nephrologist, surgeon, transplant coordinator and maybe someone else I am forgetting.

Dietician: Laughed out loud when she asked me how many snacks I have in one week and I replied "Maybe twenty". Told me when and how to take vitamins and not to lose or gain weight. I asked her about various homeopathic remedies and she did not know about any of them. She looked like she was 21 and I commented that she was very young looking and she said that she was about to say the same thing about me! Hmmmm.

Ahem.

Nephrologist: He seemed to be sort of unclear as to exactly what was going on and why I was there and not very sure of what I meant when I said I would donate to another person if someone else turned out to be another match for Arnold. (Arnold had other people testing, which is a Whole Other Story). All in all the whole meeting was very odd, especially when he did the hammer thing to my knee. Hello! Then he asked me how old I was and I said my age (43) and he said "You look a lot younger!" I thought that was odd, as I clearly do not.

Surgeon: The surgeon and he may still be my surgeon, someday, was very businesslike with tiny little hands (better to reach around in your insides with) who did not seem to be very receptive to any joking around. For instance, he said that women do much better as donors and seem to have less pain and resistance to the procedure compared to men and I said "Well, that is a surprise" (as in We All Know Women Are Not Big Babies, like men are) and he looked at me strangely. He told me about the surgery and how I had big old kidneys and good sized veins ! (I was so proud of my own anatomy at that moment). He asked me if I had any preference in regards to surgical instruments and so on and I told him that I was not actually a medical doctor or a surgeon and was hoping to be knocked out unconscious and so would not have any knowledge of anything to do with the procedure. Oh yeah, more odd looks. But it went well, really....he also mentioned I could go on to have children after this..."I am too old to have more kids" I said, and he commented he thought I was born in 1979...looking at his papers...more confusion....I commented that I certainly don’t look like a kiddo born in 79 and he said that I did look young to him. I told him that I think all of them must be used to looking at people who need a kidney. Odd stare. He does seem like a good surgeon, though. Really! I mean it!


Then I met with the Transplant Coordinator. She told me that there were other people testing and that she believed that I would NOT be chosen to donate to Arnold, but that I would be used as an altruistic donor. I was okay with that, but a little surprised. Not two minutes after she said that, another lady came to talk to me about some blood work I had to do for the surgery and sent me off to do it. I asked her who I was donating to and she mentioned Arnold. I did the blood work and went back up to see Transplant Coordinator who said that not everyone knew about the other people testing but that she loved cops because so many were testing and all were going to be altruistic donors if they were not the best match for Arnold. I was pretty interested in that, since I only knew of one other person testing.

This is when things became strange....

The next day my friend from the transplant called and said that The Transplant Coordinator had resigned that day.

Head Doctor is Part of The Fun

First of all, do not google the lyrics of the song Head Doctor, like I just did because they pretty much scar you for life. Snoop, what a talent!

So, as part of the testing they, the transplant team, have the potential donor go see a psychiatrist and possibly do some work to "buff up" some of the areas of their life that might need "buffing up" in regards to being mentally ready to donate.  I was once again, quite fascinated with use of the term "buff up" but I have tried to avoid adding it to my own vocabulary. 

The day of the visit, in which I had wisely scheduled all of the other consulations, I thought that it was a good idea to take the stairs up to the good doctor's office (four flights) and I was pretty hot and sweaty once I got up there, to arrive to a locked door.  Called from cell phone in the hall.  Called from office next door because I did not have any bars on my phone in that building.

Interesting Side Note: Cell phones are often scrambled in medical plazas.  This surely do sucketh.

Finally got in to the office (apparently some nutty patient had locked the door and then not commented to anyone when I demurely, like Attila the Hun, beat on it to no avail) the good doctor told me that since the door was locked and there was a delay, I would just have to come back another day. I told her I had taken the whole day off and was quite sure she could talk fast and I could too!  She went for it!  Hurray!  Otherwise, this whole thing may have gone to you know what if I had a tantrum!

I don't know about you, but I like talking about myself, and it was not too bad at all.  The only bad part was the auctioneer like talking. 

She seemed to understand when I told her that the only thing I was worried about was people judging me for wanting to do this.  I do not want people to think that I am so great or so altruistic or feel that I think they are bad or anything else because of my choice to donate.  I am also paranoid about people thinking about my motivation.  It really is not anyone else's business but I understand why people need to know.  I have always had a problem with people assigning malicious intentions to normal everyday things that we all do.  I also have a problem with anyone thinking I do anything because I am such a saint or a martyr or whatever.

You may so to yourself that no one does that!  Oh, they do!  It is painful to me.

I have an adopted child and one of the worst things EVER has been when people insinuate we did our daughter such a big favor by adopting her.  People have questioned the motivation to adopt a special needs child.

This is how it worked in that case: She needed a mom.  I needed to be her mom.  We both won and I am the big winner, as are my bio kids, my parents, my ex-husband and his brood and so on.  A lot of lives are better because she is ours now.

This is how it works in regards to the kidney.  Someone needs a kidney.  I have two good ones and the kind of good life that allows me to share.  I would much rather be in a position to be able to give a kidney than to need a kidney.  Maybe if I were more evolved, I would be the person needing a kidney!

I am not a good Bible thumper but I do believe. I believe this is how God works: He prepares us for what we can do that will bring goodness and joy to ourselves and other people.  Just as I knew that cute boy a long time ago that needed a kidney, I also knew a cute girl that was adopted.  In both cases, God was blessing ME by letting me know them.

This Gets Real

There are several thoughts going through my mind right now as in how much to say about all the physical testing a person must go through in order to donate a kidney. It is a lot. This whole process of donating a kidney does some potential harm to a person, so the medical world has to make sure that the donor will be okay. They also have to know for sure that the donor is perfectly healthy and that the kidney will be healthy. For instance if the donor has cancer, the cancer can pass to the recipient.

There are other blogs that detail this in great detail.  It seems to be universal that the process is long and that transplant teams are somewhat disorganized. I don't know why this is and cannot even venture a theory about it.

I did not journal all my testing. I do remember it in that "just get through it" kind of a memory way. I think it took me at least three or four days, total, to do the testing (not counting all the blood draws) but it happened over a longer period of time.
I gave them lots of blood and urine. Every time I have gone to do a blood test, and there have been at least two do-overs of big tests, there have been back ups, delays and lots of major and minor annoyances. I cannot explain why the hospital where I do my testing does not do a better job of keeping my records in their system(we have re-entered them at least three somewhat painful times) or employing pleasant folks at the front desk. The last time I was there, which is in the double digits now of the number of times this woman has seen me, seen my name etc, she actually sort of, not full on, smiled at me.  I guess I have to think that I am lucky that I am the type of person that can smile when absolutely necessary. 
During all of this, I did receive a free (despite the endless billing) chest x-ray, an EKG, a pap smear, a mammogram and a CAT scan of my kidneys. The worst test, IMHO, was the one where you drink some type of a radioactive substance and in my case, have to take two two hour breaks, I think one was a three hour break...which involved walking around on the Colfax corridor (a totally different hospital where I got to pay to park because I parked in the wrong place) with a buff cap in my arm. (You do not have to go walk around, if you are normally sane, you would just stay in the air conditioned comfort of the hospital and read.)

 Of course I made best friends with the phlebotomists, (Arnold, my intended recipient has mentioned many times how much the phlebotomist likes me) various homeless people (on that Colfax day), and one of the nurses at the transplant center through all of this testing.

To sum it up, its not that bad, and in my case, nothing was wrong with me, but if there was, they would have found it, which can be a very good thing.

And it is not one iota as bad as being a person who is living with dialysis.  NOT EVEN CLOSE!

Someone I know Needs a Kidney!

Some 32 years after the first time I thought I really could donate a kidney, a friend, and co-worker of mine, made it known that he needed a kidney.  He had someone testing to be a donor for him and it seemed to me that it all was going to happen, but it didn't because something went wrong with his intended donors health.  So he went off of work for a month and came back still needing a kidney.  I can still remember thinking that there was No Way I Could Donate a Kidney.  (But I really wanted to donate!)

1. I have had various health problems over the course of my life. (I was able to pass all tests with flying colors, however, so you never know)
2. I have three kids, a full time job, a big house I clean myself, 1 dog, 1 cat, various elderly relatives I Try To Help, a husband (I list him last only because he is my one asset, not liability)

I immediately, as in that same day I found out his intended donor had not worked out, looked up the email about donating, sent off an email of my own to the transplant coordinator and the process began.  First of all, I had to fill out a huge survey.  Secondly, I had to provide proof of my blood type.  I printed off my web page information from Bonfils, because my blood donor card was long lost.  I was in too big of a hurry to wait for a new card.  The people at the transplant team suggested I go in and donate blood and get the printout there, which turns out, was not an option.  They were happy to take my blood, but they had no printout available.  I will add this here, and this is my Not a Medical Person, though an ACORN, (Adult Child of an RN) opinion, why go down a pint when you are going to get ready to go through endless amounts of blood testing?  Just my thoughts now after giving blood and doing the cross match test (we will get to that later) and feeling exactly like crap for like two weeks afterwards.

I soon found that my sense of urgency was solely mine and of course, the guy who was waiting for a kidney. No one at the transplant center seemed to be in too much of a hurry to do any testing.  So going down a pint did not matter too much...that time...

 (To protect his innocence, I am calling him Arnold for our purposes here, even though that some people reading this will know who he is and who I am and I apologize if anyone feels that their privacy was violated but we live in a real world where we all connect to each other and things will be known and discussed, sometimes even when we don't really like it.  I am a private person myself but I am letting it all hang out here, for various reasons, mainly so that someone will read this someday and think to him or herself "If this woman can do it, I CAN TOO!!")

The Journey Gets Going

To back track a little bit, about the same time I was friends with Allison, I also had another friend named Angie.  Angie was also an ACORN! As a matter of fact, many years later, her mother was my nurse when I gave birth to my daughter, Blake. Eric, the other ACORN, and I were friends way back then too, but the difference is, I am still friends with Eric and I have lost Angie in the course of time.  I remember very clearly the last time I saw her, which was at Utah Park, here in A Town, at a free concert.  That was probably 10 years ago and Angie had just received a kidney transplant.  She was having a hard time with the transplant not to mention numerous problems due to all the fall out on every aspect of life that goes with having kidney disease.  She gave me her phone number that night, and I called her a few times, but we never really re-connected. I don't think she really wanted to hear from me and I eventually gave up on calling. 

It would have been special to donate a kidney to someone I know, but really hard too.

Later on, but not much later, a neighbor friend of mine has a husband who received a donor kidney.  No one even knew he needed a one.  But the joy he showed after receiving the transplant and her joy was immediate and real.  She explained to me later that he had a really good match in his donor.  There are lots of factors to help transplants do well and being a close match is one of them.  One advantage to living altruistic donors is that the transplant team can test for matches in many different factors, which makes the tranplant easier for the recipient's body to accept.

The Journey Begins

I first began the testing process to donate a kidney in July of 2010.  I do not specifically remember the date, but I have received bills for some of the tests (which you do not have to pay and the nice people at the hospital and transplant center tell you repeatedly "you will never ever receive a bill"--but I did receive them and numerous calls from collection agencies and so on, which are resolved (I hope) but just add to the Overall Flavor of the Whole Thing) that are dated in July.  The tests are to make sure that the kidneys of the donor are fabulous and that the rest of the body, head to toe, can handle the process. (Toe might be an exaggeration but you do get to go see a shrink during the process.) 

The real beginning of my journey began with getting my head ready, which happened when I was eleven years old, living right here in Aurora, Colorado.  One Saturday I went for a play date. (we did not use the term play date 32 years ago; I think by the age of eleven I was relatively cool enough to have used the term "hang out") Allison had a foster brother, who was a teenager and rather "cute" in my 11 year old way of thinking.  He was also one of the first teenagers to be nice to me, and Allison and I were enjoying "hanging out" with him quite a bit.  I noticed he had some Nasty Looking Scar From Hell on his left arm.  He told me it was where they "hooked him up" to dialysis.  He told me about dialysis and how he was waiting for a kidney.  That someone, someday would get killed in a bike accident or a car wreck, where the person died but their kidneys would be okay, and he would get one, when it was his turn.  "All you need is one," he said.  One good kidney....

This fascinated 11 year old me and I was pretty excited to tell my RN mother about it. (Yes, I am an ACORN, or Adult Child Of an RN, which is many cases, a mixed blessing.  Some of my favorite people are ACORNS, besides my brother, duh, my husband (his mother was a CNA but we are not about splitting hairs here, my dad (Little Grandma was an RN who introduced Mom and Dad) and my oldest friend, Eric)  My mother said that it was a sad thing but people waited a long time and that in many cases, even when people did die in car wrecks, no one got the kidney because it was a complicated process....I asked my mom if it was really true that all you need is one?  She assured me that all you need is one good kidney.  This caused me to ask her "Well, then why can't I give someone one of my kidneys?"

Naturally, my mother had a very good answer for that question, which included that it is better to have two kidneys and of course, back then, living donation was not something done as frequently as today.  I think my mother even mentioned that it was usually only done with family members, and that twins were especially good at it....as is often the case in life, a seed was planted because someone (two people actually) took the time to tell a curious little kid about something they thought was important.

P.S.  I do not know what happened to unnamed Teenage Boy Foster Child.  I hope he is okay and still with us.  My mom still does not know at this writing about my desire to donate a kidney.  I think my own 10 year old daughter may have spilled part of the beans because she went with me to the cross match test. 

"All You Need Is One!" Disclaimer and Notification

All You Need is One about a journey, my journey, to donate one of my kidneys to someone who needs just one kidney in order to have a much better existence.  It is meant to help me process this process and to hopefully help other people who are considering becoming a living kidney donor themselves. 

It is not meant to be a scientific study, a go to guide, or a political statement.  There will be no flowery language, no deep thinking, no elevated analysis of statistics or profound utterances.  Quite frankly, I am planning on writing about what is going through my head during this journey.  At this point I have been on this road for over six months.

It is not all pretty.  But it will all be true.