6 Weeks Post Op, Baby!

It has been 6 weeks since the surgery, plus or minus two weeks, (sorry for no updates sooner) and all is well. Physically, that is.  No pain, no weird stuff, just getting better and better.  I feel pretty much the same as I did before the surgery, except  better, and I cannot really explain that except that I think my new job is easier on the soul, which has nothing to do with the surgery. 

Albert has had a little post-op depression.  There is lots of information out there that "they" really do not know why some people feel depressed after a transplant, sometimes donors, sometimes recipients, and I think the transplant drugs are probably part of the problem, in the recipient case. In Albert's case, The Whole Big Change is a difficult adjustment. 

 Intellectually, he totally gets it.  As in he gets that his Job Used to Be to go to Dialysis and Now He Does Not Have a Job.  He was great at making it to dialysis, and he always thought, if he kept going to dialysis, and do a Great Job Showing Up, He would Get a Kidney!  Now that he has a kidney, he has to change his focus.  Now it is about what he can do and not so much about what he cannot do. 

  He also mentions how the whole transplant is not just fun and games, as in he has to eat a lot more, pee a lot more and drink a lot more.  Tongue in cheek aside, it is a huge lifestyle change and it is kind of depressing for him right now.  For instance, every time we talk it's all about how he is Not Really Disabled Anymore, but he is still on disability. (I assure him he is Totally In His Rights to Be Getting Disability.)  And how he wants to do all this stuff he could not do before (like go somewhere overnight, such as camping or hunting--he calls hunting "Knocking Down an Elk" which I love) and he does not really have anyone to do it with. Yet.  So though he is a little sad and disappointed, he is clear that eventually people will realize he can do a lot of things he could not do before and his life will become busier.

He said to me the other day "In a way, I kind of miss being able to do nothing but watch TV, do Word Finds and not feel like I was missing out on anything."  Hey, do the Word Finds, watch TV and be glad that you can do more, if you wanted to, but right now, you are just taking it easy.  It is okay to take some time to adjust.  It is okay to call friends and family and tell them what you want.  Not everyone is a Mind Reader.  Sometimes we have to tell people what is going on.

As for me, I have been in a Big Fat Hurry My Entire Life, so I was so ready to go back to work and to get back to normal.  Though I have taken it a lot easier, for me, in the last 8 weeks, and I am enjoying it. 

I have not felt depressed about the donation, though I know it is normal for donors to feel depressed or anxious. I am grateful for skipping that depressed and or anxious step in the process.

 My body adjusted right away to one kidney.  I have been taking lots of good vitamins, eating right, (sort of--I love nachos) and trying to rest.

There are lots of bigger things going on in my family and in my life, as well as in the whole big world!  Good Lord!  My brother lives in Japan, for instance! 

The other day, a wonderful lady that I just love, though she is completely nuts and has feet of clay, like we all do, came to visit me at my office, right when I was hanging up with Albert, and I told her how he was a wee bit depressed and she said: "If I were him, I would be so grateful and so happy, that I would never, ever complain."  (This is the woman that wants a man in her life more than anything and keeps meeting great guys that have little flaws, like being a bad skier, or in one case, the man was guilty of not wearing"cute" shoes.) Please. She knows better than anyone that change is scary!

Complaining is a good thing.  I like complaining and complainers a lot, as long as they are honest about it.  The honesty is the beauty of complaining, because you are saying, in effect, "I trust you enough to tell you the "bad" stuff."  As long as we are honest, "authentic" and willing to change, there is nothing wrong with saying "This sucks".  No one gets anywhere without doing that first step.

  Sometimes you have to pull all the crap out of the closet, make a mess, bag it up, put back the good stuff, to go on and find the "cute" shoes you forgot about.  Sometimes we have a hard time letting go of that polyester pant suit, but we will not miss it, once it is gone.

  We have a right to pull it all out and sort it out with our friends and family.  Not everyone can do it, but the people that can stroll thru the caca, can really help out.  Try to be able to do both, straighten your own malarkey out and walk alongside your friends that are doing it. Can you get some big shit kickers for that duty? 

 Do not let anyone get bogged down, even if they like wallowing, and hold everyone accountable to making a positive result.  Remind yourself when you are chest deep in the unholy stuff: "When I get through this mess, I will know how to help someone else get through this mess."

Albert already gets this.  He says that if he can work again, he wants to be a counselor.  You go, Al!

My eleven year old daughter's version of Numbers 6:24-26:

The Lord loves you and keeps you.  He lets his face shine on you, now and forever, AMEN!!! (Say AMEN!  akin to how you might say BLAST OFF!)

"May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Lord let His face shine upon you and be gracious to you.
May the Lord look kindly upon you and give you peace."

Peace to you, good friends.  Love and keep each other.

Al Stories

Al and Me in his little rental house in Denver--check out his T-shirt

I posted some more pictures of Al this time. I have received lots of sweet emails and Facebook posts about the cute picture of Al and my daughter Ren.  (Somewhere below this post.) I thought it was weird that I named the picture "RenAl")  Think about it.   

Al went home last Saturday.  His friends and family cleaned his place up and even bought him a new recliner.  He says that he now has a big recliner and a little recliner.  What about the "just right" recliner?

He is much happier at home.  He sounds better and better.  He wants us to come visit him.  He likes to tease me about various things. 

Team Porter, INDEED!

He really likes my husband Mark a lot.  He and Mark have a lot in common. They both were the only boy in the family, that lost their dads when they were just becoming a man themselves....it is kind of interesting how that works in regards to the people who come into our lives.  Al says that his own son told him that he likes Al a lot better (though he always loved him the same) now that he knows he is going to be around longer. 

When I drive past the exit I used to take to go see him, I always wonder how he is doing back at his home, and many times I call.  I know, it's only been a week, but I have called at least four times.  He sometimes says "Howdy, Donor!"  (He claims that he entered my name in his phone as "Donor".)  He probably would stop saying that if I would stop laughing when he does!

  This recliner is clearly Too Small

He likes to bake and he has been baking already.  He gives most of it away, but he says that is the best part about baking, giving it away and having a cup of coffee with someone you like knowing.

Thanks for keeping Al in your thoughts and prayers.  He is doing just fine.



What About the "New" Transplant Rules?

I am not an expert on this, but after reading several articles, I think I am understanding the situation.

The current system for the kidney transplant waiting list is first come, first serve.  This basically means that whoever is waiting for a kidney the longest, gets the kidney that comes along first.  This is specifically related to deceased donor kidneys. 

The new system that is under proposal right now would modify that system, making decisions about how one gets a kidney based more on age and the expectations of post transplant survival.  That means that some people waiting a long time may not get a kidney when a person waiting a short time may get the kidney.

With the current system, there have been cases where young people received an "older" kidney, so they had a transplant that did not last very long and ended up back in line, back on dialysis, when that older kidney went kaput too soon.  Those people would have been better served waiting longer in the first place for a younger kidney that would work for them for a long time. 

On the other hand, older people waiting a long time, may receive a young kidney, under the current system, even though they would have been equally well served by receiving a kidney from a much older person.

If I had a young person in my life that needed a kidney, I would be very upset if some older person received one before they did, but at the same time, it is important for older people to get that transplant too.  An older recipient is someone over fifty.  Many people over fifty have similar life situations to someone half their age, like kids at home, a career and so on and certainly have many years to continue living.

Remember, this recent news is about deceased donor kidneys.  Living donors can benefit all different groups, and especially people within their age range.  It does not bother me at all that I could not donate to a young person.  It only makes sense that my kidney is not brand new.  I know how many beers, diet Cokes and coffee I ran through that thing!  

I also know that more and more people are becoming educated about living donation and that donors will continue to increase.  If I heard it once, I heard it at least 15 times from the nurses, aides and others at the hospital: "We are seeing more and more living donors who did not know their recipient."

Remember, if there are more kidneys in the game, there is less "rationing".  Just imagine a game of musical chairs, but chairs are taken out AND added in, with everyone getting to play a lot longer.

Hang in there!  I love you for reading and caring!