Surgery Day...

My husband Mark and I had to be at the hospital at 5 AM with my little red ticket.  I had to get up really early because you have to take a shower with some special soap before surgery!

When we checked in the lady remembered me and said "I am sure you will do great."  Those kinds of comments make a big difference.

We went up to the pre-op area, and the nurse asked Mark to wait in the lobby and then she would go get him later.  I told Mark that I wondered if he would have some company from Albert, the recipient.  Mark did not think so, but Albert and his crew showed up shortly after I went into the pre-op room.  Mark said they talked for a long time, and Albert left me a beautiful card that made me cry.  Mark had not heard the term "Muchisimas gracias" before that day!

While I was in pre-op the nurses did all the same stuff they always do and I kept on having to go to the bathroom while they were trying to do their job.  Even though I had done the bowel prep the afternoon before, it seemed to reactivate once I was at the hospital.  They also fill the donor up with fluids so that the kidneys are busy going into surgery and the doctors really do not want you to go to the bathroom too much before the surgery,  but there is not much they can do about it if you have to go.  The nurse and I joked that the I.V. bag was my baby because of the way I carried it!

Mark came back to pre-op with me as Albert was walking back for his pre-op.  I was glad to see Albert go by even though I was quickly developing the headache of my life.  I told Mark that I thought I was getting a migraine or something so he kept trying to shade and cover my eyes because a big light was shining right in them. We could not figure out which light switch was okay to turn off. 

Almost the whole time that Mark was in there the surgeon was sitting at the nurses station yelling at the people in the lab or somewhere in the hospital.  I know at one point he called one person at home and woke them up.  I was sort of like that dog in the old Farside cartoon that can only understand her name and a few other words...so all I could hear was ALTOBELLI blah blah blah CROSS MATCH TEST blah blah blah.  I kept telling Mark to be quiet so I could hear or better yet, go out there and find out what was going on!  It was a little unnerving.

When the surgeon came into pre-op, I asked him if everything was okay and he said it was and then I told him about my migraine and he said "As long as you don't vomit!"  Then he told me that when they went thru the CAT scan of my kidneys, they (the radiologist and surgeon) noticed that I had one kidney that was 2 centimeters bigger than the other one, so they were taking the smaller one and leaving the bigger one.  That meant that instead of taking the left kidney like they normally do, because it has longer veins and is easier to get to, they would take the right one.  Mark and I both asked if that was the best thing to do and the surgeon assured us that they have to leave the "better" kidney if there is one, to the donor.  He also mentioned that I have long veins on either side, so taking the right one is still going to work. 

Mark kissed me good-bye (lots of tears) and it was off to the operating room.  I actually remember being wheeled in there and the mask and going under, even though they gave me Versed in pre-op.  I also woke up for a second during the surgery (I have experienced anesthesia awareness before) and all I saw was the back of the anesthesioligist and heard the nurse say "Blinking! Blinking!"

The next thing I remember is being in post-op/recovery and feeling like I could not breathe.  I told the nurse that I could not breathe or see right and that I could hear a baby.  She finally admitted that there was a baby in there that someone brought for a visit! I was only in recovery about one hour and was wheeled to my room.  The person that wheeled me to my room had a Scottish accent and I asked him if he had a good Robert Burns day and he said "Today is Robert Burns Day!"  So I was a little confused.  Later I think I asked him if he had done his shot of haggis!

I had the worst bed.  It made so much noise every time you moved it up or down.  It was like nails on the chalkboard screeching--terrible.

The best thing that happened that afternoon was that the other surgeon for Albert came by and said that the kidney worked so well it was a record for all the urine it was putting out in the recovery room!  He said it was not sleepy at all and went right to work.  I was so happy to hear that.

Staying in the hospital is hard on everyone, not just the patient. It is almost impossible to sleep in there with all the alarms going off all night long on the I.V. pole, and the nurses are in and out constantly when you are trying to sleep and when you really need them to show up, it seems to take forever.

They always run right in when you have a visitor too, I noticed! ; )

About 1 AM I started thinking that my Foley catheter was vapor locked and called for the nurse, which involved lots of fiddling around, after he finally came (really nice nurse but..) then he says he will do an ultrasound on my bladder to see if it is full, and he cannot find my bladder with the ultrasound thing, so I asked him what would happend if I just stood up?  That solved the problem!  The catheter is one of the worst aspects of the surgery.  But once its gone, it's gone.

The other painful part is the gas the surgeons put in to extend the belly for the surgery: that gas is still in there and very painful after the surgery.  It just moves up, in my case, to the shoulders and back and it hurts like hell!

As far as the surgical site goes, it does not look too bad.  There are three little laporoscopic holes and then the incision that they use to actually take out the kidney, which is above the pubic bone, not around back where the kidney comes from.  That is the only true incision and it is probably 3 to 4 inches long. It looks ugly right now but I don't think it will end up causing much of a scar in the long run.  My belly is really swollen, so it is okay to call me Alottabelli this week, because I know it will go down.

I had so many well wishers in various ways. I thank you all for all of your kindness! It really does make a difference!

I spent one night and part of the next day in the hospital, but it was well worth it. 

Donor Met, Tests Done, Tomorrow is the Big Day!

On Mon, Jan 24, 2011 at 2:56 PM, daniel <danny@comcast.net> wrote:
Laura,
Did you meet with the recipient today? How was it?
I am writing an article about you in the upcoming issue (hopefully out by Thursday). I would like to write a little about your recipient, what it was like to meet him, your first impressions, etc. I will, of course, just use his first name.
Let me know what you think.
I am on pins and needles thinking about tomorrow, so I know you and your family are as well!
Take Care,
Danny
On Mon, Jan 24, 2011 at 5:56 PM, Laura Altobelli> wrote:

Danny,
I am going to try to update the blog  but I drank my mag citrate already and everyone keeps calling me and my sweet family is all over me and so on so I may just email you and post it as my blog.

I did meet my donor !!! He showed up for the cross match the same time that I did and he immediately sat down to get water and told my husband, Mark, that he was getting a kidney from an anonymous donor and Mark said "I bet it is my wife" and Lab Guy (who knew we were both there for the cross match) said to the guy "Are you from Grand Junction? I think your donor is Laura Altobelli!" about two seconds later. (I was in the bathroom, of course)

The whole lab was packed and every jaw dropped, especially mine!  LOL

The guy is Native American, and has a pony tail which just seemed to make sense! He gave me his hat, which is a Medical Marijuana hat--Mark asked him if I had said anything to him about his hat, since I had been the Medical Marijuana lady at Unnamed PD, (they were chatting while I was getting my tests) and the guy gave it to me when he saw me in the lobby--very cute and sweet of him, but sort of funny--I think about what the cops would think of that whole thing!  He said his dialysis buddy gave it to him at dialysis.

So then he goes upstairs and that is when TCL told him that we were not supposed to meet and he could not have my contact information. I happened to get the ESP word at John Holly's while eating my soup that I had better call TCL (believe me, the ESP word is real) and TCL told me how it was ILLEGAL to have met like that--she said she told him that I had requested no contact.  I think I only told them 14 times that I was willing to do whatever the donor wanted--meet, not meet, etc etc!!!!!!  Then I thought we would meet upstairs, and we did not because I am sure TCL made sure it did not happen! 

 I had her patch me thru to TCL Donor and then TCL Recipient and told them to give him my phone number and he had also asked them to call me with his number. I am sure everyone used the word "hard boiled" to describe my tone.  At best!

He, Donor Guy, said that he knew that they were wrong and he was not worried.  He said they told him a lot about me anyways!

We had fun on the phone on the later on after I came home and he was doing dialysis (for the last time, let's hope) I called him because I know people like to talk on the phone while they are doing their dialysis.  We talked for an hour.  He is 56 years old, served in Vietnam, worked for an oil company--lives in Grand Junction.  He said that this day was more exciting than when his son was born.  I dont know anything about a wife so I think he is single now.  He told Mark he cannot wait to be able to go hunting this fall, if the transplant works.  His name is Albert.  He said that I sounded just like one of his sisters.  He said that everyone has been calling in on the "Mexican" radio station in Grand Junction and dedicating songs to us today!  We did not know that!  : )

Thanks for praying, brother Daniel

Bastante

I am amazed by all the people that are amazed.  I am embarrassed.

It is amazing to be part of this process.  I believe that my whole life has prepared me to do this.  Let's hope.  And in recent days, lots of very supportive people have come forward. 

My favorite thing, so far, was my dad called today and left a message on my cell phone.  (I had not told him either, until I told my mom. I would never ask my dad to keep a secret from my mom nor he would he, in part because he cannot keep a secret from anyone at any time.  We all have a story about that--each time he apologizes by saying "I am not sure how THAT slipped out!" in his Texas drawl. Ahem.  He also does that wheezing laugh which clearly cancels out any "apology".)

My dad sounds a lot like John Wayne.  He is a big Texan (transplanted to "Colorada") His phone messages are very deliberately spoken.  You can tell when someone is listening to a message from my dad...the phone is held far from the ear, the smile is wide.

 He said (John Wayne voice)"Laura Lee. This your dear old dad calling. Well, I am very glad you are a donating a kidney.  I am too selfish to do something like that. (Wild Whispering from my Mother in the Background)  Okay, just wanted to say it helps out more than just one person.  That's it."

Thanks Mom and Dad and everybody else too.  One more day of last minute tests.....drinking lots of water....bowel prep..I think I can find that Dave Barry article about it....packing bag....I am getting ready. 

Mama Bear Told and Burning Questions Answered

As I have mentioned previously, I had not told my mother about any of my plans for Living Kidney Donation, even months ago, when I was testing to donate to Arnold.  There are various reasons why, and one of the main ones is that my mother can be very negative and is the type that just shuts anyone down that tries to disagree with her, even if it is a respectful disagreement. 

To be clear, I live in the same city as my mother, we spend lots of time together, and all of us have made a very conscious decision to stay in close proximity and have a close relationship. (For instance, I would love to get outta Denver, baby, move to Warmer Climes, but I would not, unless it was okay with my parents, as in, they came with us.  This is the way that I was raised. We need our parents and grandparents and vice versa.)

  Over the years, we have had very few "blow ups".  However, I was concerned because she worries about my health, and knows too much, as an RN, to be 100% on board with my living kidney donation.

Well, alert the media, I was totally wrong (and I am totally admitting it.)  I called her this morning and told her, apologizing that I had not told her sooner, to be sure, but she was quite interested, very positive and completely understanding.  Whew.  She said "I would never try to talk someone out of donating a kidney".

Even as old as I am, I certainly act like an immature idiot sometimes.  My mom even recalled my interest in kidney donation as a child.  She said, "I remember that when you were a kid, you picked up right up on it that a person only needs one kidney and wanted to know why someone had to wait for someone else to die to get a kidney."  I felt so validated!

I cannot help but think all of you praying did not have something to do with telling my mother and how well it went today.  I think it is a small miracle.

This brings us to Burning Question Numero Uno, which has been asked by a few of you on email and Facebook and even in person.

Q. Do you think talking about God so much in your blog will turn people off?

A. Yes, no, maybe, but I cannot help it if it does.  If people are uncomfortable with my belief in God and prayer and so on, that is okay.  I certainly do not want to offend anyone.  I am trying not to shove anything down anyone's throat.   My job is not to convert anyone to another way of belief. But my relationship with God is unique to me, and is part of this process.  It comes up in the telling of this story. This is how I function.  I am not speaking for anyone else, but if I have ever lead a person to think about Christ or their relationship with God, it is because it just came up in conversation. I have never preached a sermon. I want people to know some of the big things that lead me to a kidney donor, such as knowing people on dialysis and my RN mom and other moms and friends and my work place and lots of other small and large things that came into my universe.  This is how God speaks to me.  I have not always listened.  I have been known to turn my back and even plug my ears.  You can do that too if you want to.

Burning Question Numero Dos is not going to be of interest to anyone that works outside of Unnamed Police Department, yet, almost everyone that has read this blog from Unnamed Police Department and other Police Departments has asked me this in subtle and not so subtle ways.

Q. Do you think that you were not chosen to donate to Arnold because the Unnamed Police Department wanted the donor to be another cop and not a civilian so that the Police Department could get all the "good" press?

A. Though I love a Good Conspiracy Theory as much the next person, this is not the case.  For those of you who work outside of law enforcement, who are still reading, a cop is an officer of the law, and is sworn, in the most simple terms, to serve and protect.  A civilian participates in the activities of law enforcement that do not involve risking one's life.  Civilians are an important part of policing because they do functions that little kids that grew up wanting to be a cop never wanted to do, like crime analysis.  They also cost less to the city because they are not compensated as much, since they do not risk their life. 

 I do not believe that anyone that works outside of law enforcement that heard about a living kidney donation between two employees of a police department would care that one of the people was a sworn officer and the other person was a civilian. The police department, Arnold, and the Whole Transplant Team were not motivated to find a donor for Arnold that would make more interesting news because they are both cops!  As it turned out, the donor is a police officer, and hopefully the good press will help people who are looking for a kidney donor.  I do not believe that the news story would necessarily make anyone change their opinions of the Unnamed Police Department to know that two people there participated in a kidney donation. 

The importance of the news story is to create awareness and understanding of living kidney donation. 

I am hopeful that as a society we are moving to a higher level of understanding about living organ donation which includes realizing it is do-able and not wildly unusual. The more people hear about it, the more likely they are to be supportive of people going through the process, on either side, and to even consider donation themselves.

One of the difficult things about this process is that people have a lot of (uneducated) opinions about living organ donation. When I hear one of those opinions, I try to be grateful that I have this opportunity to make a difference by explaining the process to another person.  Sometimes though I just want to roll my eyes (or worse).  The negative comments are hard, but sometimes the positive ones are too.  Viva awareness and education!!!

Ultrasound GOOD

I called the Transplant Coordinator Lady first thing this morning to see how the ultrasound was--I said "Hey, what is going on?" and she said "Oh yes, your recipient does want to meet you!"  (That is what she thought I was calling about, not the ultrasound!)

I can always hear a lot of emotion in her voice when she talks about him, which is interesting.  This is another interesting factoid: I have never met this Transplant Coordinator Lady in person.  The original TCL resigned.  I had met her .

So that is how I found out everything is okay and the surgery is going to happen on Tuesday for sure. 

I am excited to meet my recipient, even though I would understand if he did not want to meet me.  I think that my husband, Mark, and I will meet him on Monday when I go for the last cross match test and to meet with the surgeon and other folks on the transplant team.

Stay tuned. 

Ultrasound! Check!

So I hustled over there for my 3:15 check in for my 3:30 ultrasound to see if the One Remaining Evil Ovary was okay for surgery.

Let's just say at around 4:00 PM, I saw a work buddy stroll by (there for a heart scan) while I was still waiting.  During the time in the waiting room I was with a family, Mom, two boys and Grandma who were waiting for Grandma's x-ray.  Lots of talk of Grandma being cranky as she had run out of morphine patches and did not want to take her liquid morphine.  Mom and Grandma both had that Been Smokin' Our Whole Life voice.

If you have not started smoking, do not start.  If you do smoke, please stop immediately.  Enough said!

My little ultrasound tech person was really cute, kind of like an Ultrasound Barbie. She asked me if I knew that I was getting a Trans Vaginal Orchestra, I mean ultrasound today. I was tempted to tell her I did know that but I had temporarily forgotten when I ordered a bean burrito deluxe for lunch!

  Because of her overall cuteness, I did not try to bully the results out of her.  However, she did seem to me to be reacting as if there was nothing there. She kept on saying "Hmmmm....hmmmmm....hmmmmmmm...." but not in a particularly concerned fashion.  I finally told her that my Evil Left Ovary was missing.

She commented that she did not know you could donate a kidney to someone you did not know.  "You can donate a kidney to just anybody?" 

Not really.  You can only donate to someone who will really be able to put it to good use.

My plan was to have the Transplant Coordinator Lady be the bad guy and bully Ultrasound Barbie for the results, but when I called TCL as I was leaving, I was told she went home already today.

A strange thing happened when I was walking out to my car.  As is normal at most hospitals, you can only park approximately one mile from the entrance..and I could hear, despite my hood up (it was snowink, dahlink) someone not quite running, but coming up fast behind me as I walked to the parking structure. I moved over so he could pass but it turned out he was just trying to see who it was behind the hood. Once he saw my face, he just turned and went the other way. (I did smile at him and he said "Oh, hi")

I hope he finds her!  And I feel sorry for someone who has this same ugly coat!

We Have a Date!

Surgery has been scheduled for next Tuesday, January 25th!

I have a lot to do before then, like go for the ultrasound tomorrow and then they do some blood work on Monday and I also meet with the surgeon on Monday.  Then Tuesday, I check in at 5 AM and surgery is at 7:30 AM.

My boss at work understands that I will not be at work at all next week.  It is kind of surreal to think that these are my last few days at work, before I start my new job on February 1.  

 I will be motivated to get better faster (even without a new job, I have other things I have to get out of bed for) and if I am not feeling 100%, and have to take off a few more days, it will just have to be okay.  (I did tell them at my new job (during the interview) that I might have to surgery sometime in February. Awkward! Really awkward. Shudder!)

The Transplant Coordinator Lady was definitely a little teary when she was telling me what a great guy the recipient is!  (I am a huge cry baby and I was kind of holding back crying right then but I did cry on the way home.)

I am glad to hear that he is a great guy, even though I "knew" it already.  I did not start out as an altruistic donor, but I have not struggled (thank you, God) with any worry that the recipient will be a dirty rotten scoundrel.  I have talked to a couple of people, including people online and in person, who have huge issues with the worthiness of the possible recipient.

"What if he is a drinker?"  "What if it turns out he is a sex offender?"  (I did not make that up. I wanted to say "What is he is a veritable Mr. Brooks?" Kidding!)

 One person said, "What are you going to do if you find out he is serving a life sentence in the Pen?" I did not even answer that one!  That same person mentioned how he worries about donating blood because "it can often go to save people who are involved in shootings."  (As a crime analyst, I can tell you that there are not a Whole Lot of People Involved in Shootings in the Grand Scheme of Things.  I will admit that our hospitals are very good at saving people's lives who are, though!  Second chances abound!)

I stopped to think about all of this for a few seconds, each time this subject comes up, and I think that I have to trust the Transplant Coordinator Ladies, the recipients themselves, (as in the possible recipient from Cross Match Two that refused the kidney) and God.  It is a little silly to waste too much time worrying.  An Excellent Practice is to make a note of that time spent fretting and then pray for that same amount of time.  I am not saying I am very good at doing that, but when I have chosen the Why Worry When You Can Pray Way, the results are noticeably better.

Another well meaning remark (from someone who should know better): "If you only donate to kids, then you know they are good!"

No, not really.  I am pretty clear I do not know anything.   At the same time, I know and have total faith that my recipient is perfect.

I am hoping that my Right Ovary is Right and that there are no problems with it, and then it is one day at a time until Monday, and then Tuesday, and then I will get better, and my recipient will get better and life marches on.

My ten year old, right now, is singing this to me, which is somewhat irritating, quite honestly, because it way past the little sprite's bed time, but when I stopped to listen to at least one of the out of 213 times she sang this song while I was "writing", the words made me smile :

"I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.
But since I came here,
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake


la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la..."

(I had to look up the words up on the Internet.  Lovely!  Yael Naim is the artist!  Go Yael!)

Now the sprite is blowing bubbles in my study....la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la......