The Legend of the Starfish

It is the custom for the founder of the Living Kidney Donors Network to send a starfish to a kidney donor.  That really made my day!

I talked to Albert on my drive home today (yes, I am driving and chatting with just one kidney) and he is doing great and out of the hospital.

Thank you for being such good friends.  Here is to finding lots of starfish and throwing them gently back into the sea.

"Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing.   He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.  One day he was walking along the shore.  As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer.  He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day.  So he began to walk faster to catch up.  As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn't dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean. As he got closer he called out, "Good morning! What are you doing?"  The young man paused, looked up and replied, "Throwing starfish in the ocean." "I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?" "The sun is up, and the tide is going out, and if I don't throw them in they'll die." "But, young man, don't you realize that there are miles and miles of beach, and starfish all along it.  You can't possibly make a difference!" The young man listened politely.  Then bent down, picked  up another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves and said, "It made a difference for that one." "

No Wimps!

We went to see Albert tonight.  He commented that since the weather has been so bad in Denver this week, hardly anyone has come to see him.  He said he was surprised we made it in the snow today.  I asked him why in the world would he think I was a wimp?  Eye roll! 

Albert has not been able to eat his favorite food (guacamole) for six years.  The doctors say he can have it now, but no one at the hospital can get it for him. His relatives keep forgetting.  It was our honor to bring over guacamole tonight and a big bag of unsalted tortilla chips since he needs to keep his diet low sodium.

He looks like he is about 20 years younger.  Despite us begging him not to, he managed to pull up his shirt and show us his scar. HUGE!  But I can tell it is healing well. 

Later he commented that all of his friends ask him about me and almost always say something along the lines that they bet I am a very nice lady (think Pollyanna-ish) and they imagine he has to be really careful what he says!  He said one sister advised him NOT to meet the donor, because obviously the donor types are not going to be happy with someone like him.

He said they are all surprised when he tells them that I was a big smart aleck...and that I did not blink an eye about swearing...

Well, hell no. 

He waited until Mark was out of the room to say that all of his friends tease him that he has to pee sitting down now. Even one of the on call physicians teased him about having a woman's kidney!

 He said he did not want to say it in front of Mark because he knew Mark was a nice guy, but he knew I would get a big kick out of it.  I told him that most "boys" with little imaginations would make that joke and we must come up with a good come back!  He said, "that is why I am telling you, lady! "

I am so glad to see him doing so well. 

I am brainstorming on that come back too.  The first one that came to mind has to do with saying "No, but I have multiple...."  Oh, NEVER mind!
"No, but I can multi task"....."No, but I am matching my shoes and belt now",
"No, but I have noticed I do not go to dialysis anymore..."

Article from Unnamed Police Department

This is the article I was telling you about! 

Crime Analyst Honors Detective With Donation!

By Danny Veith

You may recall, in the July 2010 issue of POWER, the piece I wrote concerning Detective Ed David’s need for a kidney.  In that issue I discussed Ed’s need for an O+ donor, then guessed 500 Denver PD officers must be O+. I wrote how Ed needed a donor who was not overweight,  hypertensive, diabetic, or had a family history of kidney disease (thus whittling the eligible officers down to maybe 100).  My hope was these hundred officers would contact Porter Hospital, go through the testing, and maybe 10 would be identified as near perfect matches. My dream, in that issue of POWER, involved Ed getting a kidney in addition to 9 others on the waiting list.  Wouldn’t it be great, I thought, if Ed received a kidney, got better, followed by 9 others, and all in his honor!

Upon reading my article last July, a DPD civilian, Crime Analyst Laura Altobelli, contacted Porter Hospital and began the process to donate a kidney to Ed. Laura subjected herself to blood work, an EKG, chest x-ray, and CT scan, in addition to interviews and exams by the transplant nurse coordinator, a psychologist, surgeon, nephrologist, and dietician.

The Porter Transplant Center  eventually convened a panel to identify the best donor match for Detective Ed David. Laura was not selected. Undeterred, Laura informed the transplant center she

wanted to be retained as a donor candidate.  In the weeks that followed, the center attempted to match Laura with several people on the kidney waiting list.  Then in January, Laura was informed of a match and a surgery date was set!

Laura Altobelli

So my wish for 9 people (on a kidney waiting list) receiving a kidney in honor of Detective Ed David has been reduced now to 8 because of Laura.

All my thoughts from last summer are now eclipsed by Laura’s new designation:  “Good Samaritan Donor!” Also  known as an “Altruistic Donor,” this type of donation involves giving to someone who is not so well known to you, or even a stranger.

Obviously we all need healthy kidneys to survive. Our kidneys control the amount of water in our body and filter urea and other wastes into urine. High blood pressure (hypertension) and diabetes

can lead to kidney failure. And others endure disease, such as polycystic kidney disease - or  “PKD” - as was the case with Detective Ed David.

At any given time, there are about 55,000 people on a list for a new kidney.  While waiting on the list, most end up on dialysis and about 3,000 die each year. There are about 14,000 kidney transplants performed each year. Two thirds of these transplants involve deceased (cadaver) donors; the remaining one third are from living donors.

When a person receives a kidney from a living donor, there is no waiting period (and dialysis can be avoided). Patients who receive a kidney from a living donor, without having to first begin dialysis, almost always fare better. Living donation also allows the donor and recipient to schedule surgery at a convenient time. And a kidney, from a living donor, works sooner and better, and lasts longer than a kidney from a deceased person.

With all the benefits of living donation, you can see why the majority of living donors are made up of family members and close friends. But Laura Altobelli is the exception, that is she donated to a

stranger, and that’s what makes altruistic or Good Samaritan donation so special!  There are about 1350 people in Colorado awaiting a kidney. Based on the 2010 Census, there are just over 5 million people living in Colorado. If less than 1% of our state’s population became a living donor, Colorado’s waiting list would end. If just a handful of Coloradoans followed Laura’s example, the need for suffering and being chained to a dialysis machine would be a thing of the past for our citizens enduring kidney failure.

So in Detective Ed David’s honor, and because of Laura Altobelli’s extraordinary gift, a Colorado citizen from the Grand Junction area has a new lease on life! On Monday, January 24th, Laura had a chance to briefly meet with him, followed by a telephone conversation.  Albert is 56 years old, a Native American, and served in the military during the final years of the Vietnam war. He told Laura the reality of finally receiving a kidney (to get him off of dialysis and to return to the person he was before kidney failure) is as exciting to him as when his son was born.

The surgery took place the  following day, on January 25th, and was successful.  Laura’s right kidney kicked in immediately, allowing Albert to begin his journey to health and independence.  Laura was able to go home the following day on her road to recovery.

Sadly, Laura recently accepted a job with the State, so she will not be returning to DPD. But in addition to all her positive contributions to DPD, and the friends she made here, Laura will be remembered as a Samaritan Donor!

Thanks, Laura, for honoring Ed in such a special way and being a great example to us all!

 

 

Me So Tired

Just a quick note to say that Albert is doing much better. I think he will be out of the hospital soon. He does not want to go back to the rental house, but all the way home to Grand Junction.  He is very homesick.

I have not been to see him, because the commute this week has been about three times longer than normal, so by the time I get home, its already pushing 6 or 7.  I am a tired little bunny, or would be, if I pushed much harder.

Keep praying!  He says he knows that everyone is praying for him.

Best wishes for a very happy new year!  My little Ren is a rabbit, and just had her birthday yesterday.  We had a nice celebration. 

Good, Bad and Ugly

Disclaimer: I am not a big fan of describing things as good or bad...lots of times we are too short sighted to know if something is good or bad...and I am a weirdo that thinks too much BUT there is so much going on right now!  There are certainly some things that I am hoping will change and some things I am very grateful about...

Today was my first day back at work, at a new job.  It was also below zero this morning.  I will let you in on a little secret: we do not get much below zero malarkey here in the Mile High City.  It is not the frozen tundra up here; as a matter of fact, we have over 300 sunshine days a year and our climate is High Desert.  Just because we live here does not mean we like, prepare for, or can cope with this HIDEOUS cold!

Someone had relieved my coat pockets (two coats searched) of their gloves.  I have the winning practice of placing a pair of those dollar fifty Target gloves in every coat I own, including hoodies.  Nada.  I am sure this same special someone is the person that relieved my car of its Deluxe Scraper Brush.  (To be fair, Mark had a spare one ready for me. I know I am not parking underground at my new job and will possibly need to Brush and Scrape before I can go home.) So I was crabbing about the No Gloves Situation, The Cold and Not Clear on What Hot Drink To Bring.  (No taste for coffee since the surgery, and the taste for tea is not quite back yet, either)

My car started right up (garage parked) and was On Empty.  The same special someone that may have Stolen All of My Gloves, also Still has My Debit Card Since She Needed it to Deposit/Cash her Paycheck on Saturday.  I entertained paranoid fantasies that I could not get any gas, in any fashion, due to the extreme cold and other payment options suddenly being unavailable.

I stopped to get gas (it was negative 10) and all went well. Except it was so cold that it made my coat crackle.

I arrived at work 10 minutes early.

Work was great.  Like it's a miracle kind of a great.  I still miss my old job.  Grieving that loss a little bit.

I went to the hospital to get my one week post-op labs done.  The Lab Guy, who is my buddy, and who has told me all his secrets, told me one about Albert today. He said that my recipient was struggling. I knew that Albert was going on for some more tests, but Lab Guy made it sound a lot more serious.  He said he is sure they can help him, but that Albert's body is fighting the kidney.  It is up to the transplant team to figure out the right drug combinations, and they have to keep him in the hospital to do that.  Lab Guy kept repeating that there was nothing to worry about, but it does worry me.  I cannot imagine how terrified Albert must be, even though he does not let on. 

Next, I went upstairs to see all the Transplant Coordinator Ladies (3) and all is well.  I am doing great.  I even lost 5 pounds since surgery, though I still look like I am pregnant.   The surgeon rolled his eyes at my many layers (long underwear etc) but said that my healing was going well and my scars looked great!  All of my levels in my blood and urine were just fine.  BP fine. 

One of the TCL recommended that I really think about being part of the donor movement.  I think that will happen.

I talked to an old friend from highschool on the phone.  She has a 6 month old baby girl. I miss my friend a lot and wish I could go see her, not to mention the baby.  It might be a while with my new job.

I had an email from my friends at Unnamed Police Department.  The donor for Arnold wrote an article about my donation to Albert.  That was pretty cool!  He got everything exactly right!

My family, as always, was happy to see me and full of stories. 

I called Albert, because I was worried about him and he talked a long, long time. I think he is lonely in the hospital.  His people have had to go back home and reinforcements have not arrived.  He and I found out that we both have participated in a sweat lodge with Wallace Black Elk. I do not ever talk about my sweat lodge experience, but as soon as he mentioned it, all of those memories came flooding back. He said that he wished Wallace was still around to help him, and maybe smudge his little rental house when he gets out of the hospital.  I told him that I am sure we can find someone to do that.  (I smudge my own house from time to time.)  We talked about how we were both Christians too.

Wallace Black Elk

I guess that is it.  I am posting a picture of my belly, one week post op that my 10 year old daughter took last night.  I am still very swollen, but so much better.  I hardly have any pain at all.  There are three little holes for the laporoscopic tools and the incision at the bottom for the kidney.  The red marks by the holes are where they clamped the skin, I think!  And yes, sharp eyed friends, that is a Free Bonfils shirt I have on. Bonfils has left me two messages that I missed my blood donation this time.  : )

If you are the praying kind, you know what to do.

What About Your Own Kids?

I have had a couple of friends make very impassioned speeches (when they found out about my plans to donate a kidney) about how I have a responsibility to my kids, and my husband first, and that donating a kidney, is, well, when you get right down to it, SELFISH.  Especially to a stranger!!!

Regarding my husband: Mark did not want to think about me suffering.  He never mentioned his own suffering or any of his own needs that might not be met during this process.  He has been 100% supportive and understanding in his typical down to earth way. 

One friend made such an impassioned little speech that I think she forgot for a minute, that it was ME she was talking to. Me who knows the risks, who is careful to a fault and is very safe and healthy in all my practices!

Yes, the testing takes away some days off when I could have been (in theory) with the kids.  And this week, I was gone for two whole days and a night, though I was along for the ride to replace a tail light today (18 year old daughter: "I am totally scared to go to Jiffy Lube without you or Mark there!") and earlier this week was able to give a rousing lecture (repeat performance) on the concept of "Why it is not nice when someone gives an inch to take a mile" to my 10 year old.  I have listened to all of them for hours this week, as I have been a very captive audience. (I may not remember much of what was said those first few days post-op!)

I am sure my son, who was home from college when the surgery took place (yes, six long weeks off at Christmas break) was not exactly thrilled to have to be in the same zip code for the whole situation, but I doubt it damaged him too much.

In regards to my own health, I realize there are always risks with surgery.  I also realize that having one kidney is slightly less optimal than having two kidneys, though it does not make much difference in the lives of most people who donate.

I will be careful of my remaining kidney, just as I was careful of both of them for the past 44 years.  As a crime analyst who read literally thousands of assault reports over the years, I would give you the rough estimate of kidney injuries being about ten times rarer than brain bleeds.  Your body does a good job of keeping those kidneys protected, but your old melon is out in the open most of the time.  I promise to wear my seat belt always, just like I always have!

I think the important thing to consider is that we all have the right to take some risks with our bodies, and we do almost every day.  Some of us have taken other risks like going to third world countries, eating out on a regular basis, and running or walking in the dark!

The chances of my kids needing a kidney from me in the future are not great.  There is no kidney disease in our family. 

Many women leave their families to their own devices so that mom can participate in mission trips, girl trips, business trips, retreats and family reunions.  This can be a good thing for all involved.  Mom being away may not be top choice for kids, but it is part of growing up and part of the growing process.  My mom used to go on vacation with her cousins when I was growing up and I was never happy about it, but I think it set a good example for me, of my mom taking care of herself, of having other interests, and of nurturing relationships with people that may not live very close by.

The bottom line was for me that once I went through all the testing for Arnold, who certainly deserved a new lease on life, I was not a good match, and I hung around until they found a good match, who turned out to be a stranger.  My kids, all three of them, have asked me why I kept trying and I told them that the people that I see at the hospital, who are waiting for a kidney, all seem to be pretty deserving too, like the college kid from Denver University, and the lady farmer from Fruita, and everyone else who joked around with me while we waited to get our blood work done. Some of the joking was along the lines of "Please just give me your kidney, right now!"  The right thing for me to do, was to stick with it. 

My recipient, Albert, told me that he asked all the people, kind of on the sly, at the hospital, at the lab, and at the transplant team, if they could describe me in one word.  He said that all of them said "She is very determined" or "She is very stubborn".  Bravo!  What a good answer for him to hear!  

I think that my kids would say the same about me too. 

Home Again Home Again Tacky Tacky

I will admit that I was not quite ready to leave the hospital on Wednesday.  I was feeling pretty good until I took a Percocet at about 1 PM and then I felt like I was going to throw up and or pass out. (Also, can I mention here how much one's throat hurts after being intubated and how impossible it is to take a Horse Pill, with no coating or anything? HELLO PEOPLE!)

I could barely function at all after I took that Percocet.  Around 2:30 they sent in the social worker to rough me up along the lines that if I wanted to sleep, I needed to sleep at home, and if I wanted to go home I needed to get moving.  (I had been walking a lot prior to that and had used the toilet several times and eaten and so on.) I explained to her that it was the Percocet that was making me feel ill and that I wanted a prescription for Vicodin to go home on, because I have had Vicodin and it is okay. I needed a little time for the Percocet to go away.  She said I could have another Percocet now if I wanted, (note, as long as I can remember to tell them, I will NEVER TAKE PERCOCET AGAIN) or I could certainly Wait To Hear Back From the Doctor.  I told her I was not going to risk throwing up in the car, after abdominal surgery (all this said in my high and squeaky post-op intubated voice.)  She left.

So then they do all these tests on me to see how my BP is laying down, sitting down, standing up and I just repeated, like a broken record, that I was nauseous from the Percocet and I did not want to go home with a Percocet prescription and that I would go home when I felt like I was not going to barf. My blood pressure was just fine. 

Finally at four, I went home.  The surgeon called in a prescription for Vicodin to our pharmacy. I had earlier said I was happy to go home on POT (Plain Old Tylenol) if they could not figure out the Vicodin request. 

I will not even go into the abject refusal to find a wheel chair by our nurse. Okay, I will.  I am sure she was really busy, and it probably is not her job. You cannot walk out, you have to use a wheel chair but it is not the RN's job or the Aid (who is kind of like the CEO over there) to get the wheel chair.  "You need to find a volunteer!"  Okay, so are we dumping someone out of a wheel chair? Is that our volunteer? I did not get the "find the volunteer" strategy.  Eventually, Mark did find one, and she was really nice and explained that no one likes to wheel people out, but they have to be wheeled out.  The reason the volunteers don't like it is because they don't like to stand there and get cold while people get their car.  Doesn't it all pay the same?  Also, I bet the patient loves freezing their butt off too.  Maybe waiting around in the foyer is better?

Regardless, I felt instantly better once I was in the car.  This reminds me of a daschund I used to house sit as a teenager that would act sick and not eat but be all happy happy joy joy once she was in the car.  I felt just like Noodles once I was in that car!

I hustled right up the stairs when I got home (Mark was shocked) and laid down in the bedroom.  Forrest, my 19 year old, hung out with me while he was stringing his lacrosse head. Soon it was like a parade of all three kids, Mark, and the animals.

I decided to sleep downstairs in our study because we have one of those fabulous couches with a Recliner on Each End.  This is handy because you can sleep in the recliner position or on the couch position.  I was still having a hard time with the CO2 moving up in my shoulders and my lungs feeling weird, so the recliner came in handy.

 My ten year old was very determined to sleep with me in the study. I explained to her that I would be up and down all night long and that she needed her rest for school.  Finally, I gave in and told her she could sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor.  We watched a movie, "Peter Pan" (which is a very politically incorrect movie by today's standards, no?) and "slept" with her on the floor, me on the couch, with the cat right on top of me.  Yes, it does hurt like hell when the cat crosses the incision.  I tried to protect myself but she is relentless wanting to be right on me. Locking her out is not an option.  You understand this if you have had a Siamese kitty.

I probably went to the bathroom about once an hour, at least, because all the fluids I was pumped up with for surgery were working their way out.  Every time I had to tell the cat how sorry I was, and dump her off my big bloated CO2 belly, hobble to the bathroom, come back, get situated again, and start to sleep. 

A word about the dog. I have a chow mix.  She is a Zuni-Rez special, straight from the Zuni Rez. (That is a whole other story.)  She is the best dog ever.  However, she reserves the right to be a little bit aloof if I leave her overnight.  So that first night she would come in and snort around but was still mad at me for leaving her.  She slept in her usual spot which is on the landing, until everyone comes home, and then she sleeps in the upstairs hallway.

I called the transplant team on Thursday because I was worried about urinating so much and also that it seemed a little cloudy.  This was a danger sign to call about immediately.  They still have not called me back yet. (Saturday) I know I should have kept calling but it seems to have straightened out.

The next night we had the same arrangement: Ren on the floor, me on the couch, but dog on the floor, (we had several submit and forgive moments the day before involving belly rubs, chicken jerky treats and love pats) and cat on my stomach.  Now I was apologizing to kitty, stepping over either the dog, or Ren, and hitting the bathroom about every hour again.  Sigh.  At 3 AM the dog needed to go out.  I let her out and sat awake waiting for her and she surprised me by asking to be let in the front door, and presented me with a big dirt encrusted joint bone she had dug up somewhere.  That was a special moment and someone still needs to vacuum up that mess.

During the day I tried to do a lap around the downstairs, or go up and down the stairs every time I went to the bathroom.  I am still drinking a lot of water, Gatorade, water etc.  Yesterday I took a nap in my own bed, for the first time, laying flat and on my side, and it was just fine.  I have had this strange migraine-y headache since surgery, and when I woke up from that nap, it was finally gone. I still have that migraine hung over feeling.  I have not had much pain. I am taking my Vicodin when I go to bed at night.  The worst pain is from all the stuff they have to do to get to the kidney, like the anesthesia and the intubation. 

Mark and I had to sign some paperwork yesterday and I felt fine to go. I took my first real shower, gross, I know, and when I finally took off all my clothes, I still had leads stuck to me from the surgery.  I cannot tell you how many times I have scratched those places and not gotten that there was a foreign object stuck to me.

I am getting better every day.  Two people that have long been in the Laura Show have joked that now I have a place to put my cell phone, in regards to the kidney void.  It still hurts to laugh. My family is so funny, they all make me laugh.

My recipient Albert also makes me laugh.  We talked on the phone last night, he is getting out today to go to a little rental place near the hospital.  That is a great thing!

Big thanks to Mark, the kiddos, the pets and yes, even the nurses, and doctors, even though I say tacky things about them, for helping me through all this!  Like I have said before, it takes a village to donate a kidney!